I have new hair. My last haircut was over 8 months ago, an agonising affair that lasted 3 and a half hours of disingenuous conversation interspersed with a slow fry under the hair industry's answer to the sputnik. I'd love to say there was a butterfly that emerged from her chrysalis at the end of the experience but all I could see was a less than enticing shade of beige and a whopping bill for $275. That night I swore I would never darken a hairdresser's door ever again.
The Frenchman assumed sole responsibility for my tresses and was observed watching you-tube videos of pudding bowl haircuts. This should have been a warning to me. A number of months passed by which time my fringe was busily negotiating a march down to the tip of my nose. An appointment was made with the in-house hair technician and I was duly dampened and positioned on a stool in the laundry. I decided that a simple fringe cut would be best in the spirit of harm minimisation. Unfortunately, before I could specify where the fringe should be cut to, I felt something cold half way up the middle of my forehead followed by an unobstructed view of an armpit. As I recall the conversation went something like this:
Me: (in screechy tones)Waaaait, put that back. I didn't say WHERE to cut.
Frenchman: (mildly amused and completely unaware of the seriousness of the situation) Zis is nice, non.
Me: (further incensed)Nice? NICE?? I look like I belong in a remedial reading class circa 1976. ZIS is not NICE.
Frenchman: (gently)But it will not be long before it grows back. A few weeks perhaps.
Me: (verging on hysteria) What do I do for the next few weeks? Wear a bag over my head. (inappropriate and rude hand gesture before flouncing out of the room).
Which is how I returned to the hairdresser's chair. An hour and a half later, I left a brunette having read every inane gossip magazine under the sun. And I bloody loved it.
I like it!
A lot!
Posted by: Vic | October 29, 2009 at 10:29 PM
Gorgeous!
Next time you could come to Sydney, have THE very best hair experience with change for the same amount that frenchman burgularised you for! He severely needs a visit from Tabatha Croft! Who is he, for the sake of other unsuspecting heads, don't protect him, name him?
Posted by: Redness | October 29, 2009 at 11:55 PM
You look fabulous! And so lovely to have a close-up to see your fabulous face! Ahhh the Frenchman is precious. But then I am biased as a past hair-wrecker of my beloved, too. I swear the guard was on the clippers when my hand swept up the centre of the back of his head!!! Honest!!! Bugger, that wide strip of bald head cost me dearly! If only he would spend $15 at the gorgeous Italian barber on the corner (white coat, old chairs, sweeping the footpath all day!) Ah, the things we do for love! Cheers fab chick!
Posted by: Amber | October 30, 2009 at 08:44 AM
You are such a big spunk !!!
Posted by: jodie | October 30, 2009 at 09:43 AM
awesome! as a canberran , I would love to know where you got it done. I go to Wayne at Fringe in Braddon - he is very, very good. Looks as though your person could be a contender, though!
Posted by: Sarah | October 30, 2009 at 10:05 AM
ha :) cute story, cute hair!
Posted by: Maggie | October 30, 2009 at 11:00 AM
As someone who also sports a fringe and whose hubby also has a penchant for amateur hairdressing, I think your story is wonderful. You look fab no matter what!
Posted by: Marina | October 30, 2009 at 01:33 PM
Adorable -suits you!
Posted by: Marti | October 30, 2009 at 01:38 PM
I love it!!
I had a fringe to short moment at the hairdressers not long ago also, it was a week of apin... then it either grew a bit or I got use to it.
Posted by: cath | October 30, 2009 at 01:55 PM
Nan, you are a fox. And you've had Choc and I in stitches. What a cheeky Frenchman!
Posted by: lexi | October 30, 2009 at 02:28 PM
Looks SENBLOODYSATIONAL!
Posted by: kate | October 30, 2009 at 04:15 PM
I love it....that is one mighty fine hair cut!!
Posted by: Leonie @ Raglan Guld | October 30, 2009 at 04:54 PM
Hilarious! Lexi read this to me today and had me in stitches. I've bumbled along today with this story firmly planted and a big grin! Had to come by myself and read...and laugh. Too bloody funny!
Posted by: sarah | October 30, 2009 at 09:10 PM
Yes , I've had the spouse-inflicted toothbrush fringe too . But I love the way it looks now !
Posted by: SmitoniusAndSonata | October 31, 2009 at 12:21 AM
I agree with everyone else. It looks good - and no bowl cuts or paper bags to worry about.
Posted by: katiecrackernuts | October 31, 2009 at 10:11 PM
Oh Lord, I have had similar hair woes. Having spent 4 years in Beijing where bleaching hair takes 100 parts bleach to one part hair, I can't even tell you the colour woes I've had. Cutting was fab, though. May your gorgeous head continue for as long as possible with nary a pudding bowl sight!
Posted by: Tania McCartney | November 01, 2009 at 10:42 AM
Gorgeousness!
Your earlier hairdresser experience made me shudder with the memory of too many just like it. I've been avoiding hairdressers for about a year now.... decided to go "bad hair" until it grows into something more glamourous.
Posted by: Nikki | November 04, 2009 at 09:02 AM
great hair! ha your story made me laugh out loud :)
Posted by: Sara | November 04, 2009 at 04:00 PM
it's gorgeous!
Posted by: meg | November 11, 2009 at 08:28 AM