There's only so much time I can handle a photo of myself sulking in a fedora at the top of this page. So enough already.
Actually, it could well have stayed there for eternity if some bright spark from a Channel 10 production company hadn't suggested that I appear on some god forsaken insightful reality show to discuss infidelity. It took me all of a heartbeat to decide that I would prefer to stab myself in the eye repeatedly with a pointy stick before doing that. Also not so keen on the placement of ads for marriage counselling here at chez rummage. Lord knows I am most certainly no expert.
The one thing I am rock solid on is a very large feeling of gratitude to the people who responded to that last post without prejudice or judgement. Thank you for your kindness and giving me the benefit of the doubt. I want to pass on thanks from the French as well - he read through each comment and I know it helped him too.
I want you to know that we are good here at the house of rummage, my little family and I. Life is a curious and colourful beastie and I never seem to be able to take the easy road in anything, the french says that's why he married me, I can't quite believe that he hasn't changed his mind. But he hasn't and I am finally beginning to understand the meaning of unconditional love when I look in those gentle brown eyes.
The knowledge that I am surrounded by people with grace and big hearts is an unexpected kindness that I treasure. I have a friend in Adelaide who I've never met but have known now for years and her emails during this time I have read and reread as a kind of sustenance. I don't know why I woke up a month ago and had to write about what happened and I don't want to dwell on this but releasing it out into the ether has helped me in a profound way. There is a Ruth Park novel titled Dear Hearts and Gentle People and that's how I often think of the people who read this blog. You've helped me through a dark time and for that I am grateful.
Enough now.
Dark times are part of the ups and downs of life. Have I told you about my friend who, when my partner were going through a dark time recently (I moved out for a month earlier this year... see the things you don't get on my blog for reasons I posted about this month). Anyhoot the friend, who I also know had had her share of ups and downs in marriage was pretty damn simple about it all. She said she made this vow for better or worse, and just figured the downs were "the worse". How bloody damn simple is that? It was a light bulb moment for me. Like, duh, who was I kiddin' that this would be a walk in the park? It sure as hell didn't start as one so what chapter of what smushy romance have I been reading - possibly even rolling up and sucking in deep on?
Glad to hear there are sparkly moments in the house of Rummage. Been thinking about you lots Nan.
Posted by: katiecrackernuts | July 16, 2012 at 09:03 PM
Your family and you are the very best kind of people Elf. You know too well how I feel about you, The French and the semi-Frenches.
Two roads and all that...The French knows his stuff. Lots of love to you.
Glad you chose the pretty picture. x
Posted by: Kirsty | July 16, 2012 at 09:37 PM
I've just bedecked myself in all-over pompoms and performed a mighty impressive cheerleader routine, complete with half-pike-twist-somer-sault things and a clamber up to the very top of the person pyramid. That's how bloody glad I am. Because I am not a cheerleader type and the last time I performed convincing splits was in 1983.
Posted by: Tania | July 16, 2012 at 11:04 PM
Love is grand, but it's also a whole lot of other things and easy isn't one of them. The French sure seems like a most good and true and loving man. Aren't we women lucky to have these sorts of men in our lives, who will love us totally unconditionally while we run around being silly women.
Enough - other side. I hope you're back here. do like your pretty pictures and your words.
xxxxx
Posted by: Ellie - Petalplum | July 16, 2012 at 11:26 PM
You dont appreciate the good until you experience the not.so good. Cliche but true.
Lots.of love xx
Posted by: kate | July 17, 2012 at 07:00 AM
Gosh, lady - you've made me all teary at my desk. All my love to you, and Olive, and the smalls - I may just go and waste some time at work looking up flights to Canberra.....xxx
Posted by: Hyena In Petticoats | July 17, 2012 at 03:19 PM
"dear hearts and gentle people" we all need some of those in our lives, that's for sure. Sounds like you've got one in the Frenchy. Keep him. I didn't commment on "that" post because I'm a stranger in these parts, and I didn't know what to say. I'm glad to read you are all o.k. I've been wondering...
x
Posted by: Kylie | July 19, 2012 at 09:24 PM
Enough now - love that saying - its so perfect when its just time to move on. I was my mantra a couple of years back!
Well done you brave lady x
Posted by: Rose | July 19, 2012 at 11:02 PM
Marriage is a bloody hard thing.
I never knew that until I got one. A marriage.
And now I am here, riding that rollercoaster. And I do think of the for better or for worse, for richer for poorer. I try and think of that when I am having the lowest of lows.
Love to you. BIG love to you four. x
Posted by: lexi (pottymouthmama) | July 23, 2012 at 09:48 PM
I appreciate your return. Sometimes life is just darn hard and then we need to look twice as hard to find colors and patterns and joy and hugs. And we need the joy and hugs along with the rest of it. I will look for the Ruth Park book, I love the kindness of the title.
Posted by: Sally | August 01, 2012 at 01:51 PM